Be Happily Married Newsletter

Summer 2007

Envisioning Romantic Relationships

We envision romantic relationships, and especially marriages, that are full of love, respect, passion, and are long-lasting where the woman feels safe enough to express her full feminine essence, in all its various aspects, and where the man is clear and strong enough to penetrate his woman’s heart and soul with love, conviction, passion, and integrity while remaining fully present and never pulling back.

Romantic relationships as described above do exist and we know many couples who have them.  Yet, by far there are many, many more men and women who crave such a relationship and don’t have it.  Why is that??

Being in a successful, happy romantic relationship requires that both parties understand what their roles and responsibilities are. While both roles do play off each other and can spiral upwards to more happiness or downwards to disunity depending on the interchange between the parties, there are specific actions that the man and woman can each individually do to ensure greater on-going happiness in the relationship. In this article we’ll focus on the man.

One of the keys to winning your woman’s heart and soul is to be “present” in the relationship. This means to be emotionally and physically with her when she’s demanding your attention—whether it be in play or rest or when she’s having a meltdown or being in the “rage monster.  DO NOT GO AWAY!—stay emotionally and physically in the room.

Irrespective of what she says (i.e.: the words she speaks), if you will just stay present, in a real and authentic way, without patronizing or belittling what she is experiencing, she will eventually melt into you.  In fact, instead of moving back or away when she is upset (which is what most men do), if you instead feel into her energy, look through her eyes to the depths of her soul and LEAN INTO HER with your energy, she will FEEL your presence and realize she can trust you to keep her safe—even from herself.

She will open to you, sooner or later, depending on how emotionally charged she is at that moment. Just stay present and don’t leave, no matter what she says or does.

An important point for a man to remember is that his woman will ALWAYS be testing him….in essence, to see if he is going to stay present. This is something that never ends, even in the best of relationships, and is actually a female genetic trait. If a man truly understands this and can actually relish those intense relationship moments, knowing that she really wants him there and wants him to be strong, she will surrender to him and his love…as she knows that she can trust him to remain present. And once that happens, she will feel safe enough to express her full feminine essence…which can be one of the greatest joys a man can experience.

Kevin & Louisa are marriage educators and celebrators and are still passionately in love after almost 30 years together. To email Kevin:  For Louisa:



Wishing you a Happy Marriage,
Louisa & Kevin
Marriage Celebrators
Be -and Stay- Happily Married™