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What keeps married couples together? Yes, commitment is key and good communication is important in a lasting marriage. But love and especially the feeling of love, is the glue that binds two people together for a lifetime relationship.

During the course of a marriage, love in a relationship may decline. Sometimes the decline may reach a point of one or both of the individuals falling out of love with their partner. But, love can also be restored! Couples can fall in love with each other again. And love can be nurtured and kept alive throughout a lifelong marriage.

When you are experiencing love for a person, it feels natural to help meet that person’s emotional needs. But the opposite is true when a person is feeling “out of love” with their partner. It’s harder to be affectionate or sexual, appreciative, or even communicative with them.

Inspiraiton for Him Know your wife’s emotional needs. How? Ask her. Some women have difficulty knowing what their needs are. You can help by giving her the time and space to think on what her needs are. Set aside quiet time for her in a sensual setting. Run a bath for her with lighted candles and nicely scented bubble bath. Let her soak in the tub—uninterrupted—and ask only in return that she think of her needs and relate to you what they are, so you can help to provide them for her. She may have a need for quality time to converse with you: share her days, her feelings, her dreams. She may need more affection, or physical touch, or more romance. Whatever her emotional needs may be, discuss how often she needs this and for what period of time.  Remember, the more time you put into making your wife happy, the happier you will be and the stronger your marriage will be. Next, put on the calendar times for her to get these emotional needs met. You can help her by being emotionally or physically present, setting up the babysitter for the children, or making reservations. Be proactive. Give her what she needs and she’ll fall in love with you all over again.

Inspiraiton for HimDo you know your husband’s emotional needs? Have you asked him? Let him know you want to help him to be happy in your marriage. Many men may not know their emotional needs, but most men know what makes them happy. According to Dr. Willard Harley’s book, “His Needs Her Needs”, the two most important emotional needs for men are “sexual fulfillment and recreational companionship.” Men feel closer, more connected with their spouse, after satisfying sex. Men also feel accepted and appreciated when their sexual advances and needs are met with acceptance and love. This fulfills an emotional need for them. Can you give that to your spouse?

Recreational companionship can mean many things. It can mean playing sports together, exercising together, or just taking walks together. It can mean sharing a hobby together: fishing, antiquing, old car shows, World Wide Wrestling. Any interest of his that can be done during his down time is time he may want to share with you. His opinions, his interests, his hobbies, make up a large part of who he is. A man feels loved and appreciated when his wife takes an interest in his interests. He’ll feel honored knowing you want to spend some time with him doing what makes him happy.

After discovering what his needs are, make a plan of how often and for how long he needs to do these activities. Ask him what involvement on your part would make him happy. Some negotiations may be necessary, but in working together toward the common goal of getting his needs fulfilled will make him happier and you too! 


Happily Married Couples
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